Remember When

One of the signs of getting old is when you repeat the phrase, "Remember when" more than 5 times in the course of any one day, and I may be just around the corner from that pivotal point in life. There are days that I don't say that phrase out loud 5 times, but sometimes I think it to myself that often. Oh, there's a lot of great gadgetry available to us nowadays, many things that would totally amaze my parents if they were alive to see them. It's just that along with the amazing technological progress we've made, we've also lost a significant portion of the really meaningful, important family values of life, those values that bring our families closer, and encourage us to know one another, and yes, even care about one another.

Sometimes it doesn't feel as if we are really moving forward by making this type of progress. For instance, one thing I feel we are losing out on is family dinners together. There are a lot of families that have the same feeling it seems. It makes me wonder...How many families still get to enjoy a sit-down dinner-time together? The family dinner time is kind of an endangered species of sorts, much like the American Eagle. From the news I hear, and what friends and family share with me, families are experiencing the disappearance of meaningful family times together, and the loss of other core family functions as well.

One of the big interrupters of family time seems to be the high value placed on sports and other school activities, gymnastics, dance, etc. Another reason is probably the constant disruptions from phone calls, text messaging, and other electronic components. Oh, everything I just mentioned might be a good thing in itself, but collectively, are we being sabotaged? It seems that good parents are doing their best to provide their children with as many healthy activities and involvements as possible. Sometimes parents even take on extra jobs or work longer hours to afford dance lessons, sports equipment, music lessons, etc. I know the current gifts we now buy our children and grandchildren have frequently been computerized type toys: ipods, computers, cell phones, cameras, hand held electronic games, WII (and the expensive games that go with them) and on and on. Are we really doing them a favor?

Yeah, on and on it goes... "and where it lands, nobody knows..." Well, my concern has little to do with any one of these items on its own. I have even worked the extra jobs myself to provide something my child/children have wanted for a gift, or even just sacrificed some other way to provide it for them. What I am more concerned about as I write this blog is how the abundance of these items impacts the quality of our actual day to day "family" living. After all, no child really feels love from even one of these gadgets, and no one can ever feel loved by any of these activities, or get a hug from an electronic toy. My question is back to the idea of whether any or all of these could ever equal the marvelous value of just spending valuable time together?

Will we ever again place the same value on sitting around our kitchen, or dining room table together, talking, listening, sharing, without the interference of house phones, cell phones, esp. texting, lap tops on the table, or TV? And if we don't have those items interfering as you eat a meal, will you make it through a meal without having to scream, "Hurry Up, We are going to be late?" It seems there is always something ready and waiting to keep you from relaxing with the family.

Well, I miss sitting around the kitchen table with family, sharing stories of the day, and making family time the priority. Dinner time was always the time we got to know our parents, hear the history of their relationship, and wonder if we would ever have our own stories to tell someday. Without a dinner time together, we might be missing out on the very best ingredient for making great family times, and missing the boat when it comes to making a great family.

Our family ties are important, and though I am not at all against children having healthy involvements, why do all their involvements feel more like a career than an involvement? The poor kids don't even seem to be able to enjoy any of these activities, or be involved in them just for the fun of it. I sure miss the days when we would all go out to the ball field after dinner, which I greatly preferred to do, as opposed to running out to a practice... INSTEAD of dinner. Without family meals, devotions, discussions, etc., where will we do our talking, problem solving, encouraging one another, or just sharing our time together?

Another indication of our busy lives is revealed in the way we approach weekends. Weekends are no longer used the way they were 20 years ago. I used to look forward to Saturdays with a great expectation of working together on a big project, or just having the help of other family members. I looked forward to the change in pace, the sense of freedom that came with choosing anything you felt like doing that day. It seems that Saturdays now tell us what we are going to do, and dictate how and where we are going to be in the course of the day... just more and more stress.

More than I would like, I see that for some of my family and friends, weekends are now used to spend time at the office, catching up on office email, completing work that was left undone during the work-week (whatever that is anymore), or the weekend is used as vegging time, survival time, or recovery time, usually due to the "burn-out" from the week's pace and demand. I remember a time when catching up at work meant working in the yard, puttering in the garage, or cooking up meals for the week. And my big enjoyment... Sundays... the day when families would go to church together, and then get-together with friends and family for a big dinner afterwards. Yeah, it was a lot more work than just eating on the run, but it was so "relational." Every precious memory from my childhood seemed to be centered around our kitchen table, or someone else's table, and oddly enough, it had nothing to do with the food. What I remember most is the laughter, the sense of unity we had, and the sense of knowing we were a family.

Oh, I can remember fun times with my friends doing other things, but that is not the way I remember my family. My family gathered around a table. In fact, to this day, when I want to have an enjoyable visit with a friend, or share from the Bible with another, the thought of grabbing a cup of coffee, maybe something good to eat, opening up my Bible, and pulling up a chair to the table works wonders for me. Why I can feel my health improving just thinking about it. I can feel my blood pressure dropping, my stomach relaxing, and peace entering my thoughts for the first time in the last 1/2 hour. I also get together with the Lord as a two-some the same way. If I am not going to have coffee or plan on writing much, I'll just sit in my bedroom easy chair, or stretch across my bed to have quiet times with the Lord. I try really hard to incorporate some stretching exercises into my Bible reading sometimes (by stretching across my bed width-ways) and do leg curls while I read. When I sit, I try to do the same thing. For health reasons I have to use every opportunity that I am off my feet to do something to off-set pain.

Pain is relative. If pain is the strongest sensation you are experiencing in life, you are going to have a rough time. Pain needs to be equally flanked with healthy, happy times, moments of joy, meaningful times. If pain co-exists with meaningful things, it will bring balance, and that alone will help reduce the sensation of pain drastically. It may not cause pain to disappear completely, but it will allow it to be dissembled quite a bit. When pain is experienced by the brain in a major way, it can cause the brain to be almost unable to function in any other capacity than to feel pain. At those points, when pain has already become that intense, my suggestions would be too little, too late, and seem a bit too trivial. But precaustions taken before the pain elevates, will diffuse it with good results.

Let the son-shine in. Step outside into the sunshine. Sit in the beauty of God's creation and take it in. Breathing deep at this point in the day is so very helpful. The toxins of life need to be exhaled, and all that is good needs to be taken in. Let God's presence fill your heart and soul, let it mingle deeply into your mind and body. Feel it, taste it, and hold-on it, do this before you even begin the day's routine.

My final thought today is to encourage you, the family or family member that has some health issue, the family that is starved for a more meaningful life experience... choose the way of life that brings the most satisfying, enjoyable, rich and meaningful relationships you can. Build a treasure of happy family memories for you and your loved ones. Get back to sitting around the table, sitting around the floor, sitting around the pic nic area, and treasuring each other. Dig deep within yourself to find the way to keep this American, or Christian hallmark from slipping away.

In Acts, Ch. 2:42 there is such a precious picture of how the "Early Christian Church" lived. It is more than a snapshot, and it is quite moving to all who encounter it. It reads, "They were (A)continually devoting themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to (B)the breaking of bread and to prayer." I do not know if that is where the family tradition of eating around the table, being there all at the same time, and sharing all that we have in common comes from, but I think it is rich in implication as far as I can see. I pray that those who read this will hear my heart more than my words, and then hear God's Words more than anything. If life is beginning to run you, and that's all you do... is run, run, run, think about returning to the meaningful things God has called you to, get back to the basics of God and Family. Then, maybe like me, you might think.... REMEMBER WHEN... and as you do... relax, experience joy and peace in this truth... we can't do it alone... It's Only By His Grace... until next time....