Just Another Monday

Where in the world did the weekend go? Do you ever ask that question? A few minutes ago it was Friday, and now, it is almost 11:00 a.m. Monday. So little time, and so much to do. One thing I must always do, slow down and smell the roses, count my blessings, and have a good talk with the Lord. I must confess once again, my pain level has been extremely high. It's time to review my priorities and practices to see if I, myself, am the problem.

Yesterday, it was a struggle getting to church in the morning, though I love to go to church, especially on days when we have a wonderful service. I feel I can soar above the pain after worship, and if you add to that some really good family time, I am a pretty happy camper, though there is still a lot of pain.

Pain is a pretty constant companion for me; not a good companion, I might add, but a companion nevertheless. It's a little like living with a nagging house guest that refuses to go home. You try and try to kick the guest out, but he/she just keeps coming back. Now that I think about it, I kind of had a friend like that a number of years ago. I guess I was finally successful because she is no longer in my life, nor has she been for probably 15 years. She was a true problem.

This ex-friend just loved me to death... and death was looking imminent. I would do all that I could to limit her life-sucking grasp on my life, but yet she would come. I tried everything I knew how to stop her or control her, but she just lovvvvved me. She told me of her friendship in all kinds of ways, and did all kinds of things to display her love. She invited me for coffee, lunch, dinner. She wrote me cards, brought me gifts, gave me huge compliments. The one thing she did not do was... REALLY BE MY FRIEND! A friend listens, a true friend cares about you.

Here is a sad part of life: Things are not always what they seem! Sometimes things are really wolves in sheep's clothing. They are traps... things that just zap us, drain us dry, leave us for dead, and have no intention of giving. That is the way of pain and suffering. My pain tries to rob me of every ounce of energy and strength, take my attention, steal my joy, and leave me for dead.

I had to learn to say no sometimes. You know, Nancy Reagan said, "Just say, NO!" I already hear you asking... "OK, how do I do that when I didn't ask for the pain in the first place?" Well, you are right. I didn't ask for my friend to swallow me whole either, but somehow, though I tried to avoid this person using every possible way I knew how... it just didn't work. I tried saying, "No," I would say," "Maybe another time," "I am working on my devotions right now, and I really can't." You see, I was using a band-aid in place of a cure. I allowed, and fueled her to take, and take she did. She took God time, and family time, without thought or concern.

I realized a few important lessons after a long time of battling the friend issue, and I didn't like it... I mean I cried over this thing, and I grieved that my words were not strong enough to make this "friend" respect me enough to live by my boundaries. She would not, and I had to learn the "big girl" lesson that God did not want me to be involved in a "poisonous" relationship.

"When the going gets tough... the tough get going..." they say, (whoever they are) and you have to bring out the BIG GUNS... God's Word and Prayer. And you have to handle negative influences, and harmful involvements, kind of like a poisonous chemical spill, or a discovery of an unwanted, nasty rodent visiting your attic. Put on your mask, and get rid of that pest. Oh, I sound so mean, don't I? I know that I am being pretty dramatic. But in all honesty, there are toxic relationships. Some relationships are NOT healthy. A healthy relationship should not rob you of all the good you have in your heart. In fact, I have found that right relationships should actually bless your heart. They should fill you with joy, spur you to be a better person, and encourage growth in your relationship with your maker. There should be evidence of some good fruit.

So going back to the chemical spill, we have to diffuse that "toxic" chemical. Throw God's Word on that stinky stuff. Fix your mind on God's love, and remember how much He gave to save you, to comfort you. He suffered beyond comprehension, so He knows a lot about suffering. He will take you through your problem, even if He does not take you out of the problem, whatever it is.

The other day I mentioned Philippians 4, "...by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your request be made known to God," You just have to read that whole chapter, it is fantastic. Absolutely, without doubt or hesitation, this chapter will diffuse the chemical. Now the clean-up, well that is the praise and prayer (P&P). I say P&P because I always have to tell God first thing... "Thank you for all your blessings, for all that you have given me in Christ Jesus, for the times I have coped with pain, for the times I feel better, thank you." Then, when I have offered Him my gratitude, I share my heart and my needs.

Now, if you don't take measures to deal properly with pain, like the chemical spill, it could really become messy (and dangerous). Pain can start to control your life. It will begin to tell you where you can go, when you can go, and how you will go. It will grow and increase like my unhealthy friend if you do not deal with it appropriately. Pain is not always a bad thing; it has a purpose. Pain can drive us to God's Word, to the doctor's office, or to prayer. I think pain should drive us to all three, but at least two. Guess which two I always choose first?

I always choose the Word and prayer; they are my two best friends, and two best friends and me, make three. A strand of three is not easily broken, according to Solomon. Pain will try to rob you of these friends. You might get so irritated, or mad that you are too mad to read, too mad to pray. That's when you have to go back to the basics I mentioned the other day. I have to go through a lot of things to remove that initial attitude, relieve the stress, and detoxify a bit. I do the deep breathing, the stretching, the warm-up exercises, and then maybe I am ready for the BIG GUNS, the Word, and P&P. Share your need with a prayer partner, get a good devotional out and start reading. Take a nap, or eat something healthy, and then maybe you will be ready for the life-giving Word and prayer.

No matter how you approach it, you are not going to get away from that life-sucking pain-pit until you take strong action. Try my recommendation of the day... and get serious about dealing with pain. Apply God's Word like healing salve or oil on a nasty wound. Keep in mind my illustration of the chemical spill; check your priorities, check your routine, and see if you need to do some toxic-clean-up. Evaluate the quality of your relationships, activities, and schedule to see if they are as healthy as they should be.

Keep pain in check by doing healthy, life-giving activities, maintaining a strong, on-going relationship with the Lord and others, and always keep the BIG GUNS right on your hip, the Word and Prayer. Keep pain from doing harm to your health or life. Here is what Jesus said about dealing with the wolves in sheep's clothing, the things that come into your life looking like a friend, but really are there to drain the life right out of you. Jesus said, "The thief comes to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." (John 10:10) Applying God's truth will begin a wonderful journey of healing, but it's not on our own... trust me on this... it's "Only By His Grace"... until next time...