How would you react if your name meant pain?

I guess a number of people are familiar with Jabez from the Bible. There is only slight mention of him in I Chronicles 4:10, which is where we find the well-known "Prayer of Jabez." It is a prayer that Jabez prayed to God asking Him to increase his territory, for God to keep His hand on him, and to keep him from harm so that He would not cause pain. (or "be free from pain")

It is interesting that such a short portion of Scripture would create so many studies on Jabez' prayer. In verse 9, however, there are at least two clues to his situation. 1. The mention that Jabez was more honorable than his brothers, and 2. His mother named him Jabez, the verse continues, "because 'I bore him in pain.'" Jabez means... pain! I know I caused my mom a lot of pain, but I am sure glad that she didn't name me pain or Jabez!

I can hardly imagine the stigma and stereo-type a person would experience if their name was pain. My brother used to call me a pain, and I absolutely hated it. It only made him call me pain all the more to hear me cry about it. But no one wants to be considered pain, yet, Jabez' own mother called him pain. Is there a child born into the world that did not cause his mother some pain? I know I have given birth, and if we named our children based on experience... I could have called anyone of my children pain... cause I was definitely in pain. Couldn't any mother say that? But would I label my child "pain." No! In fact, most mothers name their child the nicest, prettiest, sweetest, strongest sounding name possible. After all, to Mom this is the most precious child in the whole world.

Well, had I been Jabez, I can tell you that I would have had a self-esteem issue; I would have complained all the time, threatened to change my name, and sulked for who knows how long. I find it so amazing how Jabez responded, especially to God. He was not angry, hurt, or vengeful. Jabez prayed for God to increase his territory, and to bless him. He first asked for God's blessing. Jabez knew exactly what to do... turn to the only one who could bless him. Then, again in great wisdom, He asked God to keep His hand on him. He did not want to leave God; he knew that His closeness to God was the way to righteous living, to a productive life, to being in the center of God's will. Then he asked for the most amazing thing... He asked that God would keep him from pain. We might need to stop and think about this profound prayer... Jabez was asking God to keep him from causing pain. Amazing!

I am so impressed by the focus that Jabez had. He was called pain, named by the person who loved him the most, his mother. But he didn't try to prove her wrong; he didn't even want to teach anyone a lesson. Jabez kept his focus positive, and on God. He asked God to keep him from causing anyone pain with a pure heart to bless others, a heart that wanted to make sure he didn't cause pain.

Where is all this leading... well, in this blog I have discussed the burden of pain. Sharing how I am learning to cope with pain, and how God has taught me to adjust and improve my pain levels have been my main objectives. Today, as I reviewed these verses, it hit me that Jabez is an incredible character study of how we can endure pain. When we suffer with pain, we might even feel like we become PAIN. Just like Jabez, we and pain are one. There have been times when I felt so much pain that I thought all I was, was pain, honestly. But when we experience pain, how do we usually react? Do we get or feel angry, irritated, annoyed. Do we jump on someone when asked a question? Do we yell at someone unnecessarily? We might do a lot of things, but would we pray that we would do no harm? Do we ask God for more responsibility, increase our territory, do more cooking, have more company? No, unfortunately we usually pray almost the opposite.

We do just the opposite of improving our situation, we become negative, which usually makes it worse. Negative thoughts can make everything we already feel, worse. Our thinking is so critical to our well-being. What we think often becomes what we do, and what we do often becomes what we are. Prayer works just the opposite; Praise works just the opposite. When we employ prayer and praise we actually focus on the ONE we praise... Jesus. We take our eyes off of ourselves and put them on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. Heb.12 is the best place to find this truth. And when we praise Him, by some amazing miracle, part of our troubles fade from site.

So... This is my best recommendation today. Pray as Jabez prayed, focus on Jesus and praise. The best way to lessen your negative feelings and thoughts is to go to a higher place in prayer and praise. So keep in mind, negative thoughts will increase pain, so don't go in that direction. As soon as you think you are heading in the wrong direction, turn around and head in the right direction, or if you're lost... stop and ask directions from Scripture or your prayer partner. Getting on the right road is critical, and I strongly suggest you travel the higher roads of prayer and praise much like our friend, Jabez. Remember that nothing is impossible with God, and always keep in mind... it's Only By His Grace... until the next time...