Remember When

One of the signs of getting old is when you repeat the phrase, "Remember when" more than 5 times in the course of any one day, and I may be just around the corner from that pivotal point in life. There are days that I don't say that phrase out loud 5 times, but sometimes I think it to myself that often. Oh, there's a lot of great gadgetry available to us nowadays, many things that would totally amaze my parents if they were alive to see them. It's just that along with the amazing technological progress we've made, we've also lost a significant portion of the really meaningful, important family values of life, those values that bring our families closer, and encourage us to know one another, and yes, even care about one another.

Sometimes it doesn't feel as if we are really moving forward by making this type of progress. For instance, one thing I feel we are losing out on is family dinners together. There are a lot of families that have the same feeling it seems. It makes me wonder...How many families still get to enjoy a sit-down dinner-time together? The family dinner time is kind of an endangered species of sorts, much like the American Eagle. From the news I hear, and what friends and family share with me, families are experiencing the disappearance of meaningful family times together, and the loss of other core family functions as well.

One of the big interrupters of family time seems to be the high value placed on sports and other school activities, gymnastics, dance, etc. Another reason is probably the constant disruptions from phone calls, text messaging, and other electronic components. Oh, everything I just mentioned might be a good thing in itself, but collectively, are we being sabotaged? It seems that good parents are doing their best to provide their children with as many healthy activities and involvements as possible. Sometimes parents even take on extra jobs or work longer hours to afford dance lessons, sports equipment, music lessons, etc. I know the current gifts we now buy our children and grandchildren have frequently been computerized type toys: ipods, computers, cell phones, cameras, hand held electronic games, WII (and the expensive games that go with them) and on and on. Are we really doing them a favor?

Yeah, on and on it goes... "and where it lands, nobody knows..." Well, my concern has little to do with any one of these items on its own. I have even worked the extra jobs myself to provide something my child/children have wanted for a gift, or even just sacrificed some other way to provide it for them. What I am more concerned about as I write this blog is how the abundance of these items impacts the quality of our actual day to day "family" living. After all, no child really feels love from even one of these gadgets, and no one can ever feel loved by any of these activities, or get a hug from an electronic toy. My question is back to the idea of whether any or all of these could ever equal the marvelous value of just spending valuable time together?

Will we ever again place the same value on sitting around our kitchen, or dining room table together, talking, listening, sharing, without the interference of house phones, cell phones, esp. texting, lap tops on the table, or TV? And if we don't have those items interfering as you eat a meal, will you make it through a meal without having to scream, "Hurry Up, We are going to be late?" It seems there is always something ready and waiting to keep you from relaxing with the family.

Well, I miss sitting around the kitchen table with family, sharing stories of the day, and making family time the priority. Dinner time was always the time we got to know our parents, hear the history of their relationship, and wonder if we would ever have our own stories to tell someday. Without a dinner time together, we might be missing out on the very best ingredient for making great family times, and missing the boat when it comes to making a great family.

Our family ties are important, and though I am not at all against children having healthy involvements, why do all their involvements feel more like a career than an involvement? The poor kids don't even seem to be able to enjoy any of these activities, or be involved in them just for the fun of it. I sure miss the days when we would all go out to the ball field after dinner, which I greatly preferred to do, as opposed to running out to a practice... INSTEAD of dinner. Without family meals, devotions, discussions, etc., where will we do our talking, problem solving, encouraging one another, or just sharing our time together?

Another indication of our busy lives is revealed in the way we approach weekends. Weekends are no longer used the way they were 20 years ago. I used to look forward to Saturdays with a great expectation of working together on a big project, or just having the help of other family members. I looked forward to the change in pace, the sense of freedom that came with choosing anything you felt like doing that day. It seems that Saturdays now tell us what we are going to do, and dictate how and where we are going to be in the course of the day... just more and more stress.

More than I would like, I see that for some of my family and friends, weekends are now used to spend time at the office, catching up on office email, completing work that was left undone during the work-week (whatever that is anymore), or the weekend is used as vegging time, survival time, or recovery time, usually due to the "burn-out" from the week's pace and demand. I remember a time when catching up at work meant working in the yard, puttering in the garage, or cooking up meals for the week. And my big enjoyment... Sundays... the day when families would go to church together, and then get-together with friends and family for a big dinner afterwards. Yeah, it was a lot more work than just eating on the run, but it was so "relational." Every precious memory from my childhood seemed to be centered around our kitchen table, or someone else's table, and oddly enough, it had nothing to do with the food. What I remember most is the laughter, the sense of unity we had, and the sense of knowing we were a family.

Oh, I can remember fun times with my friends doing other things, but that is not the way I remember my family. My family gathered around a table. In fact, to this day, when I want to have an enjoyable visit with a friend, or share from the Bible with another, the thought of grabbing a cup of coffee, maybe something good to eat, opening up my Bible, and pulling up a chair to the table works wonders for me. Why I can feel my health improving just thinking about it. I can feel my blood pressure dropping, my stomach relaxing, and peace entering my thoughts for the first time in the last 1/2 hour. I also get together with the Lord as a two-some the same way. If I am not going to have coffee or plan on writing much, I'll just sit in my bedroom easy chair, or stretch across my bed to have quiet times with the Lord. I try really hard to incorporate some stretching exercises into my Bible reading sometimes (by stretching across my bed width-ways) and do leg curls while I read. When I sit, I try to do the same thing. For health reasons I have to use every opportunity that I am off my feet to do something to off-set pain.

Pain is relative. If pain is the strongest sensation you are experiencing in life, you are going to have a rough time. Pain needs to be equally flanked with healthy, happy times, moments of joy, meaningful times. If pain co-exists with meaningful things, it will bring balance, and that alone will help reduce the sensation of pain drastically. It may not cause pain to disappear completely, but it will allow it to be dissembled quite a bit. When pain is experienced by the brain in a major way, it can cause the brain to be almost unable to function in any other capacity than to feel pain. At those points, when pain has already become that intense, my suggestions would be too little, too late, and seem a bit too trivial. But precaustions taken before the pain elevates, will diffuse it with good results.

Let the son-shine in. Step outside into the sunshine. Sit in the beauty of God's creation and take it in. Breathing deep at this point in the day is so very helpful. The toxins of life need to be exhaled, and all that is good needs to be taken in. Let God's presence fill your heart and soul, let it mingle deeply into your mind and body. Feel it, taste it, and hold-on it, do this before you even begin the day's routine.

My final thought today is to encourage you, the family or family member that has some health issue, the family that is starved for a more meaningful life experience... choose the way of life that brings the most satisfying, enjoyable, rich and meaningful relationships you can. Build a treasure of happy family memories for you and your loved ones. Get back to sitting around the table, sitting around the floor, sitting around the pic nic area, and treasuring each other. Dig deep within yourself to find the way to keep this American, or Christian hallmark from slipping away.

In Acts, Ch. 2:42 there is such a precious picture of how the "Early Christian Church" lived. It is more than a snapshot, and it is quite moving to all who encounter it. It reads, "They were (A)continually devoting themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to (B)the breaking of bread and to prayer." I do not know if that is where the family tradition of eating around the table, being there all at the same time, and sharing all that we have in common comes from, but I think it is rich in implication as far as I can see. I pray that those who read this will hear my heart more than my words, and then hear God's Words more than anything. If life is beginning to run you, and that's all you do... is run, run, run, think about returning to the meaningful things God has called you to, get back to the basics of God and Family. Then, maybe like me, you might think.... REMEMBER WHEN... and as you do... relax, experience joy and peace in this truth... we can't do it alone... It's Only By His Grace... until next time....

Just Another Monday

Where in the world did the weekend go? Do you ever ask that question? A few minutes ago it was Friday, and now, it is almost 11:00 a.m. Monday. So little time, and so much to do. One thing I must always do, slow down and smell the roses, count my blessings, and have a good talk with the Lord. I must confess once again, my pain level has been extremely high. It's time to review my priorities and practices to see if I, myself, am the problem.

Yesterday, it was a struggle getting to church in the morning, though I love to go to church, especially on days when we have a wonderful service. I feel I can soar above the pain after worship, and if you add to that some really good family time, I am a pretty happy camper, though there is still a lot of pain.

Pain is a pretty constant companion for me; not a good companion, I might add, but a companion nevertheless. It's a little like living with a nagging house guest that refuses to go home. You try and try to kick the guest out, but he/she just keeps coming back. Now that I think about it, I kind of had a friend like that a number of years ago. I guess I was finally successful because she is no longer in my life, nor has she been for probably 15 years. She was a true problem.

This ex-friend just loved me to death... and death was looking imminent. I would do all that I could to limit her life-sucking grasp on my life, but yet she would come. I tried everything I knew how to stop her or control her, but she just lovvvvved me. She told me of her friendship in all kinds of ways, and did all kinds of things to display her love. She invited me for coffee, lunch, dinner. She wrote me cards, brought me gifts, gave me huge compliments. The one thing she did not do was... REALLY BE MY FRIEND! A friend listens, a true friend cares about you.

Here is a sad part of life: Things are not always what they seem! Sometimes things are really wolves in sheep's clothing. They are traps... things that just zap us, drain us dry, leave us for dead, and have no intention of giving. That is the way of pain and suffering. My pain tries to rob me of every ounce of energy and strength, take my attention, steal my joy, and leave me for dead.

I had to learn to say no sometimes. You know, Nancy Reagan said, "Just say, NO!" I already hear you asking... "OK, how do I do that when I didn't ask for the pain in the first place?" Well, you are right. I didn't ask for my friend to swallow me whole either, but somehow, though I tried to avoid this person using every possible way I knew how... it just didn't work. I tried saying, "No," I would say," "Maybe another time," "I am working on my devotions right now, and I really can't." You see, I was using a band-aid in place of a cure. I allowed, and fueled her to take, and take she did. She took God time, and family time, without thought or concern.

I realized a few important lessons after a long time of battling the friend issue, and I didn't like it... I mean I cried over this thing, and I grieved that my words were not strong enough to make this "friend" respect me enough to live by my boundaries. She would not, and I had to learn the "big girl" lesson that God did not want me to be involved in a "poisonous" relationship.

"When the going gets tough... the tough get going..." they say, (whoever they are) and you have to bring out the BIG GUNS... God's Word and Prayer. And you have to handle negative influences, and harmful involvements, kind of like a poisonous chemical spill, or a discovery of an unwanted, nasty rodent visiting your attic. Put on your mask, and get rid of that pest. Oh, I sound so mean, don't I? I know that I am being pretty dramatic. But in all honesty, there are toxic relationships. Some relationships are NOT healthy. A healthy relationship should not rob you of all the good you have in your heart. In fact, I have found that right relationships should actually bless your heart. They should fill you with joy, spur you to be a better person, and encourage growth in your relationship with your maker. There should be evidence of some good fruit.

So going back to the chemical spill, we have to diffuse that "toxic" chemical. Throw God's Word on that stinky stuff. Fix your mind on God's love, and remember how much He gave to save you, to comfort you. He suffered beyond comprehension, so He knows a lot about suffering. He will take you through your problem, even if He does not take you out of the problem, whatever it is.

The other day I mentioned Philippians 4, "...by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your request be made known to God," You just have to read that whole chapter, it is fantastic. Absolutely, without doubt or hesitation, this chapter will diffuse the chemical. Now the clean-up, well that is the praise and prayer (P&P). I say P&P because I always have to tell God first thing... "Thank you for all your blessings, for all that you have given me in Christ Jesus, for the times I have coped with pain, for the times I feel better, thank you." Then, when I have offered Him my gratitude, I share my heart and my needs.

Now, if you don't take measures to deal properly with pain, like the chemical spill, it could really become messy (and dangerous). Pain can start to control your life. It will begin to tell you where you can go, when you can go, and how you will go. It will grow and increase like my unhealthy friend if you do not deal with it appropriately. Pain is not always a bad thing; it has a purpose. Pain can drive us to God's Word, to the doctor's office, or to prayer. I think pain should drive us to all three, but at least two. Guess which two I always choose first?

I always choose the Word and prayer; they are my two best friends, and two best friends and me, make three. A strand of three is not easily broken, according to Solomon. Pain will try to rob you of these friends. You might get so irritated, or mad that you are too mad to read, too mad to pray. That's when you have to go back to the basics I mentioned the other day. I have to go through a lot of things to remove that initial attitude, relieve the stress, and detoxify a bit. I do the deep breathing, the stretching, the warm-up exercises, and then maybe I am ready for the BIG GUNS, the Word, and P&P. Share your need with a prayer partner, get a good devotional out and start reading. Take a nap, or eat something healthy, and then maybe you will be ready for the life-giving Word and prayer.

No matter how you approach it, you are not going to get away from that life-sucking pain-pit until you take strong action. Try my recommendation of the day... and get serious about dealing with pain. Apply God's Word like healing salve or oil on a nasty wound. Keep in mind my illustration of the chemical spill; check your priorities, check your routine, and see if you need to do some toxic-clean-up. Evaluate the quality of your relationships, activities, and schedule to see if they are as healthy as they should be.

Keep pain in check by doing healthy, life-giving activities, maintaining a strong, on-going relationship with the Lord and others, and always keep the BIG GUNS right on your hip, the Word and Prayer. Keep pain from doing harm to your health or life. Here is what Jesus said about dealing with the wolves in sheep's clothing, the things that come into your life looking like a friend, but really are there to drain the life right out of you. Jesus said, "The thief comes to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." (John 10:10) Applying God's truth will begin a wonderful journey of healing, but it's not on our own... trust me on this... it's "Only By His Grace"... until next time...

The Weekender

TGIF. Isn't that what we all think when Friday rolls around? Well, now that it is late Friday evening, almost Saturday, it's time to think how we are going to spend the weekend, that's if you haven't planned it already. The weekend is just about the only time I get to see my husband, and it's the only time we get to do a few things together. I know he is really feeling tired, so I do not expect to be doing anything really exciting, but the pace is always better over the weekend. The sense of relaxation is such a delight. And as long as it is Saturday, we always have Sunday to still look forward to.

I think I look forward to Sunday the most. When I was a kid Sundays were really special. I loved to read the Newspaper on Sunday after church, of course, that meant the Comics. I also liked the Weekender, and the Parade. But especially when I was a child I would lay on the floor and read the "Funnies," as my dad would call them. And sometimes, when life was really sweet, my dad would read them to me. He would always read them in character, and I loved it. He loved Dagwood and Blondie the best I think. It's really something how a memory such as that can make you want to read the Sunday paper all your life... and it could just be because your dad read the "funnies" to you. Maybe that is what I still like about Sundays, hearing my Father's voice, and hearing Him read to me. In a sense, that actually is what does happen when I am in church, but it is my heavenly Father speaking in place of my earthly father.

Some people feel that church is uncomfortable for them, a place they don't feel they can be themselves. It's odd, but I feel just the opposite. I love being at church, being in touch with other believers, knowing we are going to worship and praise together, knowing we will hear God's Word shared, read, and taught. I love being connected to the things of God. I am so much better when I am connected to Him, so much better when I am in contact with others who feel the same way. I love being in my Father's house. Just like when I was a girl, sprawled on the living room floor, when life was sweet, when my dad would take the time to read to me.

This weekend, I pray that you will find time to be with your Father. What else can be better than to hear His voice, and sense His presence? Invest your time wisely while you have it, knowing that the final days are coming near. Quite honestly, we do not know how much more time we have to share the important things with our family and friends. Share your heart, share your life, and share your faith. Have a blessed weekend, and be a blessing... "Only By His Grace"... until next time.

Today I had to pull out all the stops!

Today was a difficult day, lots of pain and stiffness. Today was a day I had to go back to the grass roots of it all, do as much stretching as possible, a little exercise, do some work and then rest. I had to spend a lot of time thinking about the Lord, His Word, and what He has done for me. I also had to take some time to breath, deep, steady breathing. In fact, I like to breath in and out Scripture verses. I don't know if you have ever tried it, but it is wonderful. Think on an uplifting verse, and then take a deep, relaxing breath. Remember to breath diaphragmatically so that the air expands your chest. Try keeping your shoulders down (not lifting them up), breath very deeply from the center of your being, if you feel your center growing... that's the diaphragm. There are these great supportive muscles on the side and back that need exercising to keep your core strong. It is a really good sensation, and as you breath, think on the verse. I have a verse I enjoy saying a lot from Isaiah, Ch 26:3, and I say it a poetic form, "Perfect peace has he whose mind is stayed on Thee." I say it over many times. Or try. "Be anxious for nothing, but by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God." from Philippians 4.



Well, what verse you say is entirely your choice. I am just sharing some of my favorites. I also say a verse found in Galatians 2, "I have been crucified with Christ; I no longer live, but Christ lives in me, and the life I live in the body, I live by faith in the One who loved me and gave His life for me." Well, you get the idea I am sure. And as you breath try to sense the Holy Spirit's presence filling you and cleansing out the bad stuff, giving life, renewing the spirit. That is a wonderful thing, isn't it, to be renewed?



Yeah, this week has been a bit more painful for me health-wise, a true challenge. I have been experiencing hormone issues, my levels have been irrational a bit, and I am often reminded that my physical being is precarious and sometimes volitile. Health can often be a delicate thing, not to be fooled around with, not to be taken for granted. I admit I am not always the best steward of myself. I joke about the fact that I need a caretaker to my other family members, but I know that God requires me to be the caretaker. Do you ever question how well you are taking care of yourself? Do you ever wonder if you need a better health regime? Do you have good sleep habits? Do you eat well? Do you treat yourself kindly? Do you groom yourself well? Do you have special time with your maker everyday?



The bottom line is... no one else is going to do the right things for us, if we don't do it for ourselves. So we need to do healthy things for ourselves or it just won't happen. If you are like me, you might take care of yourself after you do your other tasks. I would like to do better at this, and I would like to challenge anyone reading this blog to join me. I want someone to hold me accountable, and I will commit to do the same for you. I know a few of you have read the blog without writing a comment, so when you read this blog, comment and let me know that you will join me in being a better steward of yourself along with me. Let's make a greater effort to sleep well, eat well, live well, and groom ourselves well. Let's begin with ourselves, take a walk, treat ourselves to something we enjoy... like visiting a friend, or calling someone we miss terribly. Take a trip to the library, or someplace else wholesome, and also low cost that makes us feel good. Don't do something just to feel good, but do it because it is good. Doing what is good is good medicine. Doing what is good and right is often its own best reward.



Stop and visit a shut-in, talk to a neighbor, consider inviting someone to church on Sunday, better yet, invite them over for some coffee or tea, share a little of your life with that person, and then invite them to go to church. A little bit of friendship evangelism is good for your soul and theirs. Make each day special. If possible, go through your day so that at the end of the day, when you look back on what took place, you can feel good about it. At the end of the day ask: What did I do today that made a difference in any one's life? God gives us new mercies every day, He grants us grace sufficient for our every situation, let's take advantage of these wonderful blessings He gives us. Join me in making each day count., even on bummer days like today. And remember as we move out in faith that it's "Only By His Grace"... until next time...

How would you react if your name meant pain?

I guess a number of people are familiar with Jabez from the Bible. There is only slight mention of him in I Chronicles 4:10, which is where we find the well-known "Prayer of Jabez." It is a prayer that Jabez prayed to God asking Him to increase his territory, for God to keep His hand on him, and to keep him from harm so that He would not cause pain. (or "be free from pain")

It is interesting that such a short portion of Scripture would create so many studies on Jabez' prayer. In verse 9, however, there are at least two clues to his situation. 1. The mention that Jabez was more honorable than his brothers, and 2. His mother named him Jabez, the verse continues, "because 'I bore him in pain.'" Jabez means... pain! I know I caused my mom a lot of pain, but I am sure glad that she didn't name me pain or Jabez!

I can hardly imagine the stigma and stereo-type a person would experience if their name was pain. My brother used to call me a pain, and I absolutely hated it. It only made him call me pain all the more to hear me cry about it. But no one wants to be considered pain, yet, Jabez' own mother called him pain. Is there a child born into the world that did not cause his mother some pain? I know I have given birth, and if we named our children based on experience... I could have called anyone of my children pain... cause I was definitely in pain. Couldn't any mother say that? But would I label my child "pain." No! In fact, most mothers name their child the nicest, prettiest, sweetest, strongest sounding name possible. After all, to Mom this is the most precious child in the whole world.

Well, had I been Jabez, I can tell you that I would have had a self-esteem issue; I would have complained all the time, threatened to change my name, and sulked for who knows how long. I find it so amazing how Jabez responded, especially to God. He was not angry, hurt, or vengeful. Jabez prayed for God to increase his territory, and to bless him. He first asked for God's blessing. Jabez knew exactly what to do... turn to the only one who could bless him. Then, again in great wisdom, He asked God to keep His hand on him. He did not want to leave God; he knew that His closeness to God was the way to righteous living, to a productive life, to being in the center of God's will. Then he asked for the most amazing thing... He asked that God would keep him from pain. We might need to stop and think about this profound prayer... Jabez was asking God to keep him from causing pain. Amazing!

I am so impressed by the focus that Jabez had. He was called pain, named by the person who loved him the most, his mother. But he didn't try to prove her wrong; he didn't even want to teach anyone a lesson. Jabez kept his focus positive, and on God. He asked God to keep him from causing anyone pain with a pure heart to bless others, a heart that wanted to make sure he didn't cause pain.

Where is all this leading... well, in this blog I have discussed the burden of pain. Sharing how I am learning to cope with pain, and how God has taught me to adjust and improve my pain levels have been my main objectives. Today, as I reviewed these verses, it hit me that Jabez is an incredible character study of how we can endure pain. When we suffer with pain, we might even feel like we become PAIN. Just like Jabez, we and pain are one. There have been times when I felt so much pain that I thought all I was, was pain, honestly. But when we experience pain, how do we usually react? Do we get or feel angry, irritated, annoyed. Do we jump on someone when asked a question? Do we yell at someone unnecessarily? We might do a lot of things, but would we pray that we would do no harm? Do we ask God for more responsibility, increase our territory, do more cooking, have more company? No, unfortunately we usually pray almost the opposite.

We do just the opposite of improving our situation, we become negative, which usually makes it worse. Negative thoughts can make everything we already feel, worse. Our thinking is so critical to our well-being. What we think often becomes what we do, and what we do often becomes what we are. Prayer works just the opposite; Praise works just the opposite. When we employ prayer and praise we actually focus on the ONE we praise... Jesus. We take our eyes off of ourselves and put them on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. Heb.12 is the best place to find this truth. And when we praise Him, by some amazing miracle, part of our troubles fade from site.

So... This is my best recommendation today. Pray as Jabez prayed, focus on Jesus and praise. The best way to lessen your negative feelings and thoughts is to go to a higher place in prayer and praise. So keep in mind, negative thoughts will increase pain, so don't go in that direction. As soon as you think you are heading in the wrong direction, turn around and head in the right direction, or if you're lost... stop and ask directions from Scripture or your prayer partner. Getting on the right road is critical, and I strongly suggest you travel the higher roads of prayer and praise much like our friend, Jabez. Remember that nothing is impossible with God, and always keep in mind... it's Only By His Grace... until the next time...

Why Me?

Maybe I am the only one that ever thinks this way... but I often wondered, "Why me, Lord?" I never got a good answer, of course, but as I looked around at the other hardships that existed in the world I began to see things a little differently. I think I now suspect the best question to ask is, "Why not me?" After all, Isaiah responded to the Lord, "Here I am, Lord, send me" so... "Why not me?" is a pretty good question. It seems that there is so much unpleasantness and hardship all around us, yet somehow we often feel we should be sheltered from it all. Why does cancer hit some of the most precious people in the world? I don't think they deserve it, do you? No, of course not. No one deserves to suffer like that. No one!... and for those of you that may have lost a loved one to such a dreaded disease as this... my heart goes out to you. I, too, lost my Mom to this Dracula of diseases, and no, there is not justice in disease. Disease is evil, and evil exists in our world.

Yet, there are times when hardship and struggle works as a conduit for us to draw from the strength of the Lord, and causes us to depend on His incredible grace, which empowers us to live above our circumstances, and allows us to walk by faith in newness of life. And when we have realized the incredible joy of bearing our burdens in His strength... we are content, and full, and at peace. We know that we have met with an incredible Spiritual conncection with God, and we are truly alive.

Scripture alerts me to the fact that we are going to experience hardship. There are many verses that indicate this. Look up a few to see that the Lord told us when we suffer hardship, trials, and suffering, not if, so He was preparing us for struggles. So, had I found the answer to "Why Me?" Oddly enough I did come to a different perspective and began to think... "Why not me?" My prayers would go something like this: "If you will, Lord, take this pain from me, but if not, grant me the grace sufficient so that I might bear this pain, and if you need someone to carry this struggle, why not me? I want to live for you and bring glory to you, Lord, whatever way I can. Lord I pray your will be done. And whatever you have for me in heaven, pour it down, Lord"

I do want everything God has for me, in this life and the next. I sure do not want what I deserve, but I take great joy and pleasure in experiencing whatever He has for me. I trust Him, do you? I know that no one loves me more than He does, and whatever He wants me to go through will be for my good... so I want to go, I want to do it. He is my rock, my strength, my fortress. He will grant me every blessing possible. He is my loving Father, and surely He will provide my every need. I believe God! That is what Beth Moore so boldly proclaimed in her study, "Believing God." If you haven't gone through her study, you need to. It puts everything in perspective. The ladies that I studied with are my best buddies, and being in God's Word together is what makes "Best Buds." So that is my big recommendation for the day... Get involved in Bible Study... it is the best, and the icing on that cake is... Sharing it with some other ladies that Love the Lord also. It is the best of the best.

So the "Why Me?" question I had when I started was finally answered for me. It took some time, and it took me really thinking about my perspective. It took many things, but in the area of attitude the big thing was to get beyond my first question, and learn more about Christ and what He desires for the believer, what He desires for me,(or you) personally. In the next world there will be no more pain, no more suffering, no more disease, (hallelujah) but while we are here there will be suffering and pain. I would rather have pain with Christ than be pain-free without Him, and I would rather have a heart that wants what Christ wants than to live my life always asking... "Why Me?" Open yourself up to Him, take a deep breath... and then quietly, lovingly, open yourself to your increased confidence and faith in Him and ask, "Why NOT me?" You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by trusting Him. He won't let you bear it alone... remember He promised to be with you, that He would never leave you or forsake you... and then... live gloriously in the beauty of this amazing truth... "It's Only By His Grace"... until next time...

Suffering is a BEAR

I am usually a pretty private person, perhaps even to a flaw. I may show the world the outside, but rarely do I open the doors within. Just yesterday I started a blog. I cannot tell you with any great certainty where the Lord will lead me on this blog, but I have taken the first step to what may be the shortest blog in history, or the longest (personal) journey ever. It is not so important to me where the blog leads or where the blog takes me; what is important is that this blog become an opportunity to share how the Lord has worked in me and through me, especially in the area of health issues, and that people who see me, and hear me today, not see me, but Christ in me. He has taught me so much through this journey, a journey of ups and downs, of victories and triumphs over sickness, and how He has taught me to praise Him in good times and bad, and raised me to walk in His power, His name, in newness of life, and how He is still working on me some 10 years after my Fibro diagnosis.

My health issues have been complex, and it has been Only By His Grace that I have survived, so it is therefore, a blog dedicated to Him, and to His goodness, and to what He has done for me. If this blog-site would be of help to anyone you know that suffers from health issues such as mine, feel free to pass it along with the hope that it may bring some direction or help their way. God has done amazing things for me, and I know without a doubt that He is waiting to do the same for those that will call upon His name. My story is not unique, but it it personal, and all the details may not be relevant to others, yet... I know that there have been similarities in the stories of others that also suffer with Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, HBP, Hypothyroidism, disc injuries, Hietal hernia, and a few minor complications. Some of these health issues are often found grouped together, such as Fibro & CFS. Even Thyroid dysfunction can be considered as a common subgroup by which Fibromyalgia patients fall into. This does not allow medical researchers to understand the syndrome itself any better, at least not from what I have read and been told, but it does help to some degree, to identify those that may be within its stereo-type. My high blood pressure issues also stem from the Fibro... ever since I started suffering from severe episodes of pain, my BP started increasing. I am sure that there are other factors involved, but I did not have a problem with HBP at all before I began suffering from Fibro.

Suffering... that is exactly what it is. If you see someone that always looks sad, someone that can never be clear eyed or happy... they could be suffering with a health issue. They may not be the downer you always thought they were... they might be struggling with each step they take. That is one of the first lessons I learned as a Fibro-pain sufferer. I learned that it was difficult to be around people. When you feel like crying all the time, all you really feel like doing is crying... not laughing, not listening, not sitting... definitely not standing... after all, your entire core is shot. It is just plain missing. I sang for years, and then all of a sudden realized I couldn't sing anymore... my core-being was gone. I would stand to sing and there was nothing... absolutely nothing inside. I was void of strength and it was terrible. It took me quite some time to learn how to deal with what was happening to me, and I learned some important things about life and struggles, and I learned to look at people differently.

I learned that there are people around me suffering, struggling, all with silent issues, things we do not know or understand. Take a minute to do a self-check on that point. Do you walk around assuming that everyone is fine, that everyone has your health, your energy, etc? Well, it may be a really bad assumption... so consider the people you meet, consider the one you are with. Make a mental note now, if you haven't before this time, pain is a BEAR! If you are one of those LUCKY one's that get to carry it... God help you, but if you are one of the ones that gets to be around someone that is suffering, realize what a huge burden pain is to bear. Think about their countenance... is their sadness related to pain? If it is, show some concern, show support, give them a gentle hug, and remember to pray. Pray with them and for them, and by all means, do not think badly of them. This is not a mental disorder; it is truly a physical disorder, syndrome, whatever... Take the time to care. Sure suffering people can be more trouble than non-suffering, but they need you to care, and... they are truly worth it.

From a value point of view... those that experience a great deal of suffering can find a connection with Christ that might never have been realized if it hadn't been for pain. God has brought me through this journey... He didn't take the problem from me, but He did what He promised to do, He has taken me through... and we are still on the journey. If there is nothing else that you remember from what I have shared, please remember that there is hope for those that are suffering, hope is always possible if we want it badly enough. Never stop trying to give hope to others; never stop holding on to hope for yourself, but remember it's Only By His Grace... until the next time.

To Blog or not to Blog...that is the question.

As I step into new waters, I question if I am in over my head, as I begin this blog. Finding something to say is not what concerns me, it's finding something to say that is worth saying, and then have it be worth reading. God will have to make the final decision on that business while I simply try to share my thoughts.

As my profile shows, I struggle with health issues. The health issues are pretty major, and sometimes it is upsetting to me when I consider the medication that is required to keep me going. Sometimes, however, I am just so thankful and grateful that I have something to help me cope, I put aside my concerns and do my best to focus on the blessings. Medication is a negative word these days... no one really wants to be medicated. In todays health scene many people are telling us to go natural, and people like me begin to feel ashamed of the fact that we need to take something that is not natural. Yet, if medication can help an individual sustain a better quality of life... isn't it better to take it than to suffer? Well, I think so. But I also would recommend great constraints on what medication I take. I am allowed to take certain pain medications more frequently than I do, so in that case, I would say that over-medication, and unnecessary medication is not the way to go, at least not for me. Stronger medication is available when good general care fails to do its part, but too much medication can cause bad side effects.

I do not want to feel sedated, groggy, or useless. What I desire to feel is awake, alert, and glad to be alive. I desire a sense of well-being, and pray for my attitude to be such. It is my joy to have a time with God every day, a time when He takes my weakness and turns it into an opportunity for His strength to arise in me. I am so about Him, that is the Lord, of course. He is my rock, my salvation, and apart from Him I can do nothing. Well, that is not totally true, apart from Him I can and have done a lot of things, usually bad things, wrong things, and things I wish I had not done.

No, do not think I am just saying this to make Jesus sound wonderful. I am saying this because Jesus is wonderful. I owe all honor to Him. I could not face a day without Him, and to tell you the truth... I doubt I would even want to go through the struggles necessary to get the other side of a day if it were not for Him.

If you are wondering what I mean by this... well, there are a lot of struggles to face when you have health issues. Everything I decide to do is a challenge, quite frankly. I must approach every choice as if nothing is for sure, and realize that all things must be weighed in terms of value and cost. If what I want to do has little value, I will probably say no. If what I want to do has value, but has a very high cost, I may say no, but if what I want to do has value and a cost, prayer is certainly required. I usually check with my husband, and once I hear his evaluation, I make petition of the Lord. The cost for me is usually pain. I have non-stop pain. It runs up my neck, down my shoulder (the protruded disc pain) and then tender points on my legs, arms, head, particularly, (from the Fibro) and exhaustion from the chronic fatigue. Lately I have run into an issue with my thyroid getting out of balance (again) though I am on the right medication and dosage. I am pretty sure I have the right adjustment of this because it took about 6 years to accomplish. And when all health issues get messed up and things get to happening, well, my blood pressure goes up... and then we have those issues to deal with. Increased pain in my body always shows up with elevated blood pressure readings. a serious side issue that requires monitoring.

For me spending time doing something, is like spending cash. I know when I spend the cash I have on me... it is gone, and I will not have any reserve. That is what It feels like to have Chronic Fatigue. I know I only have so much energy and ability, and I will have to suffer, pay the price the following day or days, and end up on a bit more medication in order to get through the next couple of days. There is absolutely no reserve in Chronic Fatigue... none! So, you see for me, I need to know I am doing what God wants me doing with my days. Following His daily guidance is my best plan for spending my cash (energy) wisely.

Well, my health and daily struggles are what I feel I can blog about. For anyone that may have a similar difficulty, I plan on sharing with you how God, by His mercy and grace, leads me every day into His meadow of refreshment, and how I sit at His feet and drink it in. It is all about how I am nothing apart from His living water and bread of life. He gives me to eat, and I gladly take it in. He is what is worth writing about. He is the best part of me, and as I face my next challenge I know that I will say... "Only By His Grace..." until next time...