How would you react if your name meant pain?

I guess a number of people are familiar with Jabez from the Bible. There is only slight mention of him in I Chronicles 4:10, which is where we find the well-known "Prayer of Jabez." It is a prayer that Jabez prayed to God asking Him to increase his territory, for God to keep His hand on him, and to keep him from harm so that He would not cause pain. (or "be free from pain")

It is interesting that such a short portion of Scripture would create so many studies on Jabez' prayer. In verse 9, however, there are at least two clues to his situation. 1. The mention that Jabez was more honorable than his brothers, and 2. His mother named him Jabez, the verse continues, "because 'I bore him in pain.'" Jabez means... pain! I know I caused my mom a lot of pain, but I am sure glad that she didn't name me pain or Jabez!

I can hardly imagine the stigma and stereo-type a person would experience if their name was pain. My brother used to call me a pain, and I absolutely hated it. It only made him call me pain all the more to hear me cry about it. But no one wants to be considered pain, yet, Jabez' own mother called him pain. Is there a child born into the world that did not cause his mother some pain? I know I have given birth, and if we named our children based on experience... I could have called anyone of my children pain... cause I was definitely in pain. Couldn't any mother say that? But would I label my child "pain." No! In fact, most mothers name their child the nicest, prettiest, sweetest, strongest sounding name possible. After all, to Mom this is the most precious child in the whole world.

Well, had I been Jabez, I can tell you that I would have had a self-esteem issue; I would have complained all the time, threatened to change my name, and sulked for who knows how long. I find it so amazing how Jabez responded, especially to God. He was not angry, hurt, or vengeful. Jabez prayed for God to increase his territory, and to bless him. He first asked for God's blessing. Jabez knew exactly what to do... turn to the only one who could bless him. Then, again in great wisdom, He asked God to keep His hand on him. He did not want to leave God; he knew that His closeness to God was the way to righteous living, to a productive life, to being in the center of God's will. Then he asked for the most amazing thing... He asked that God would keep him from pain. We might need to stop and think about this profound prayer... Jabez was asking God to keep him from causing pain. Amazing!

I am so impressed by the focus that Jabez had. He was called pain, named by the person who loved him the most, his mother. But he didn't try to prove her wrong; he didn't even want to teach anyone a lesson. Jabez kept his focus positive, and on God. He asked God to keep him from causing anyone pain with a pure heart to bless others, a heart that wanted to make sure he didn't cause pain.

Where is all this leading... well, in this blog I have discussed the burden of pain. Sharing how I am learning to cope with pain, and how God has taught me to adjust and improve my pain levels have been my main objectives. Today, as I reviewed these verses, it hit me that Jabez is an incredible character study of how we can endure pain. When we suffer with pain, we might even feel like we become PAIN. Just like Jabez, we and pain are one. There have been times when I felt so much pain that I thought all I was, was pain, honestly. But when we experience pain, how do we usually react? Do we get or feel angry, irritated, annoyed. Do we jump on someone when asked a question? Do we yell at someone unnecessarily? We might do a lot of things, but would we pray that we would do no harm? Do we ask God for more responsibility, increase our territory, do more cooking, have more company? No, unfortunately we usually pray almost the opposite.

We do just the opposite of improving our situation, we become negative, which usually makes it worse. Negative thoughts can make everything we already feel, worse. Our thinking is so critical to our well-being. What we think often becomes what we do, and what we do often becomes what we are. Prayer works just the opposite; Praise works just the opposite. When we employ prayer and praise we actually focus on the ONE we praise... Jesus. We take our eyes off of ourselves and put them on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. Heb.12 is the best place to find this truth. And when we praise Him, by some amazing miracle, part of our troubles fade from site.

So... This is my best recommendation today. Pray as Jabez prayed, focus on Jesus and praise. The best way to lessen your negative feelings and thoughts is to go to a higher place in prayer and praise. So keep in mind, negative thoughts will increase pain, so don't go in that direction. As soon as you think you are heading in the wrong direction, turn around and head in the right direction, or if you're lost... stop and ask directions from Scripture or your prayer partner. Getting on the right road is critical, and I strongly suggest you travel the higher roads of prayer and praise much like our friend, Jabez. Remember that nothing is impossible with God, and always keep in mind... it's Only By His Grace... until the next time...

Why Me?

Maybe I am the only one that ever thinks this way... but I often wondered, "Why me, Lord?" I never got a good answer, of course, but as I looked around at the other hardships that existed in the world I began to see things a little differently. I think I now suspect the best question to ask is, "Why not me?" After all, Isaiah responded to the Lord, "Here I am, Lord, send me" so... "Why not me?" is a pretty good question. It seems that there is so much unpleasantness and hardship all around us, yet somehow we often feel we should be sheltered from it all. Why does cancer hit some of the most precious people in the world? I don't think they deserve it, do you? No, of course not. No one deserves to suffer like that. No one!... and for those of you that may have lost a loved one to such a dreaded disease as this... my heart goes out to you. I, too, lost my Mom to this Dracula of diseases, and no, there is not justice in disease. Disease is evil, and evil exists in our world.

Yet, there are times when hardship and struggle works as a conduit for us to draw from the strength of the Lord, and causes us to depend on His incredible grace, which empowers us to live above our circumstances, and allows us to walk by faith in newness of life. And when we have realized the incredible joy of bearing our burdens in His strength... we are content, and full, and at peace. We know that we have met with an incredible Spiritual conncection with God, and we are truly alive.

Scripture alerts me to the fact that we are going to experience hardship. There are many verses that indicate this. Look up a few to see that the Lord told us when we suffer hardship, trials, and suffering, not if, so He was preparing us for struggles. So, had I found the answer to "Why Me?" Oddly enough I did come to a different perspective and began to think... "Why not me?" My prayers would go something like this: "If you will, Lord, take this pain from me, but if not, grant me the grace sufficient so that I might bear this pain, and if you need someone to carry this struggle, why not me? I want to live for you and bring glory to you, Lord, whatever way I can. Lord I pray your will be done. And whatever you have for me in heaven, pour it down, Lord"

I do want everything God has for me, in this life and the next. I sure do not want what I deserve, but I take great joy and pleasure in experiencing whatever He has for me. I trust Him, do you? I know that no one loves me more than He does, and whatever He wants me to go through will be for my good... so I want to go, I want to do it. He is my rock, my strength, my fortress. He will grant me every blessing possible. He is my loving Father, and surely He will provide my every need. I believe God! That is what Beth Moore so boldly proclaimed in her study, "Believing God." If you haven't gone through her study, you need to. It puts everything in perspective. The ladies that I studied with are my best buddies, and being in God's Word together is what makes "Best Buds." So that is my big recommendation for the day... Get involved in Bible Study... it is the best, and the icing on that cake is... Sharing it with some other ladies that Love the Lord also. It is the best of the best.

So the "Why Me?" question I had when I started was finally answered for me. It took some time, and it took me really thinking about my perspective. It took many things, but in the area of attitude the big thing was to get beyond my first question, and learn more about Christ and what He desires for the believer, what He desires for me,(or you) personally. In the next world there will be no more pain, no more suffering, no more disease, (hallelujah) but while we are here there will be suffering and pain. I would rather have pain with Christ than be pain-free without Him, and I would rather have a heart that wants what Christ wants than to live my life always asking... "Why Me?" Open yourself up to Him, take a deep breath... and then quietly, lovingly, open yourself to your increased confidence and faith in Him and ask, "Why NOT me?" You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by trusting Him. He won't let you bear it alone... remember He promised to be with you, that He would never leave you or forsake you... and then... live gloriously in the beauty of this amazing truth... "It's Only By His Grace"... until next time...

Suffering is a BEAR

I am usually a pretty private person, perhaps even to a flaw. I may show the world the outside, but rarely do I open the doors within. Just yesterday I started a blog. I cannot tell you with any great certainty where the Lord will lead me on this blog, but I have taken the first step to what may be the shortest blog in history, or the longest (personal) journey ever. It is not so important to me where the blog leads or where the blog takes me; what is important is that this blog become an opportunity to share how the Lord has worked in me and through me, especially in the area of health issues, and that people who see me, and hear me today, not see me, but Christ in me. He has taught me so much through this journey, a journey of ups and downs, of victories and triumphs over sickness, and how He has taught me to praise Him in good times and bad, and raised me to walk in His power, His name, in newness of life, and how He is still working on me some 10 years after my Fibro diagnosis.

My health issues have been complex, and it has been Only By His Grace that I have survived, so it is therefore, a blog dedicated to Him, and to His goodness, and to what He has done for me. If this blog-site would be of help to anyone you know that suffers from health issues such as mine, feel free to pass it along with the hope that it may bring some direction or help their way. God has done amazing things for me, and I know without a doubt that He is waiting to do the same for those that will call upon His name. My story is not unique, but it it personal, and all the details may not be relevant to others, yet... I know that there have been similarities in the stories of others that also suffer with Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, HBP, Hypothyroidism, disc injuries, Hietal hernia, and a few minor complications. Some of these health issues are often found grouped together, such as Fibro & CFS. Even Thyroid dysfunction can be considered as a common subgroup by which Fibromyalgia patients fall into. This does not allow medical researchers to understand the syndrome itself any better, at least not from what I have read and been told, but it does help to some degree, to identify those that may be within its stereo-type. My high blood pressure issues also stem from the Fibro... ever since I started suffering from severe episodes of pain, my BP started increasing. I am sure that there are other factors involved, but I did not have a problem with HBP at all before I began suffering from Fibro.

Suffering... that is exactly what it is. If you see someone that always looks sad, someone that can never be clear eyed or happy... they could be suffering with a health issue. They may not be the downer you always thought they were... they might be struggling with each step they take. That is one of the first lessons I learned as a Fibro-pain sufferer. I learned that it was difficult to be around people. When you feel like crying all the time, all you really feel like doing is crying... not laughing, not listening, not sitting... definitely not standing... after all, your entire core is shot. It is just plain missing. I sang for years, and then all of a sudden realized I couldn't sing anymore... my core-being was gone. I would stand to sing and there was nothing... absolutely nothing inside. I was void of strength and it was terrible. It took me quite some time to learn how to deal with what was happening to me, and I learned some important things about life and struggles, and I learned to look at people differently.

I learned that there are people around me suffering, struggling, all with silent issues, things we do not know or understand. Take a minute to do a self-check on that point. Do you walk around assuming that everyone is fine, that everyone has your health, your energy, etc? Well, it may be a really bad assumption... so consider the people you meet, consider the one you are with. Make a mental note now, if you haven't before this time, pain is a BEAR! If you are one of those LUCKY one's that get to carry it... God help you, but if you are one of the ones that gets to be around someone that is suffering, realize what a huge burden pain is to bear. Think about their countenance... is their sadness related to pain? If it is, show some concern, show support, give them a gentle hug, and remember to pray. Pray with them and for them, and by all means, do not think badly of them. This is not a mental disorder; it is truly a physical disorder, syndrome, whatever... Take the time to care. Sure suffering people can be more trouble than non-suffering, but they need you to care, and... they are truly worth it.

From a value point of view... those that experience a great deal of suffering can find a connection with Christ that might never have been realized if it hadn't been for pain. God has brought me through this journey... He didn't take the problem from me, but He did what He promised to do, He has taken me through... and we are still on the journey. If there is nothing else that you remember from what I have shared, please remember that there is hope for those that are suffering, hope is always possible if we want it badly enough. Never stop trying to give hope to others; never stop holding on to hope for yourself, but remember it's Only By His Grace... until the next time.

To Blog or not to Blog...that is the question.

As I step into new waters, I question if I am in over my head, as I begin this blog. Finding something to say is not what concerns me, it's finding something to say that is worth saying, and then have it be worth reading. God will have to make the final decision on that business while I simply try to share my thoughts.

As my profile shows, I struggle with health issues. The health issues are pretty major, and sometimes it is upsetting to me when I consider the medication that is required to keep me going. Sometimes, however, I am just so thankful and grateful that I have something to help me cope, I put aside my concerns and do my best to focus on the blessings. Medication is a negative word these days... no one really wants to be medicated. In todays health scene many people are telling us to go natural, and people like me begin to feel ashamed of the fact that we need to take something that is not natural. Yet, if medication can help an individual sustain a better quality of life... isn't it better to take it than to suffer? Well, I think so. But I also would recommend great constraints on what medication I take. I am allowed to take certain pain medications more frequently than I do, so in that case, I would say that over-medication, and unnecessary medication is not the way to go, at least not for me. Stronger medication is available when good general care fails to do its part, but too much medication can cause bad side effects.

I do not want to feel sedated, groggy, or useless. What I desire to feel is awake, alert, and glad to be alive. I desire a sense of well-being, and pray for my attitude to be such. It is my joy to have a time with God every day, a time when He takes my weakness and turns it into an opportunity for His strength to arise in me. I am so about Him, that is the Lord, of course. He is my rock, my salvation, and apart from Him I can do nothing. Well, that is not totally true, apart from Him I can and have done a lot of things, usually bad things, wrong things, and things I wish I had not done.

No, do not think I am just saying this to make Jesus sound wonderful. I am saying this because Jesus is wonderful. I owe all honor to Him. I could not face a day without Him, and to tell you the truth... I doubt I would even want to go through the struggles necessary to get the other side of a day if it were not for Him.

If you are wondering what I mean by this... well, there are a lot of struggles to face when you have health issues. Everything I decide to do is a challenge, quite frankly. I must approach every choice as if nothing is for sure, and realize that all things must be weighed in terms of value and cost. If what I want to do has little value, I will probably say no. If what I want to do has value, but has a very high cost, I may say no, but if what I want to do has value and a cost, prayer is certainly required. I usually check with my husband, and once I hear his evaluation, I make petition of the Lord. The cost for me is usually pain. I have non-stop pain. It runs up my neck, down my shoulder (the protruded disc pain) and then tender points on my legs, arms, head, particularly, (from the Fibro) and exhaustion from the chronic fatigue. Lately I have run into an issue with my thyroid getting out of balance (again) though I am on the right medication and dosage. I am pretty sure I have the right adjustment of this because it took about 6 years to accomplish. And when all health issues get messed up and things get to happening, well, my blood pressure goes up... and then we have those issues to deal with. Increased pain in my body always shows up with elevated blood pressure readings. a serious side issue that requires monitoring.

For me spending time doing something, is like spending cash. I know when I spend the cash I have on me... it is gone, and I will not have any reserve. That is what It feels like to have Chronic Fatigue. I know I only have so much energy and ability, and I will have to suffer, pay the price the following day or days, and end up on a bit more medication in order to get through the next couple of days. There is absolutely no reserve in Chronic Fatigue... none! So, you see for me, I need to know I am doing what God wants me doing with my days. Following His daily guidance is my best plan for spending my cash (energy) wisely.

Well, my health and daily struggles are what I feel I can blog about. For anyone that may have a similar difficulty, I plan on sharing with you how God, by His mercy and grace, leads me every day into His meadow of refreshment, and how I sit at His feet and drink it in. It is all about how I am nothing apart from His living water and bread of life. He gives me to eat, and I gladly take it in. He is what is worth writing about. He is the best part of me, and as I face my next challenge I know that I will say... "Only By His Grace..." until next time...